How To Raise A Confident, Sociable Cat

Mark Vette Animal Behaviourist, Zoologist and Trainer

From what I’ve observed, many people seem to believe that a dog’s nature comes down to the way they are raised, while a cat’s nature is totally out of their control… not the case!

So many people believe cats can’t be trained or we don’t need to train them and we just have to put up with their classic scaredy cat or independent feline personalities.

Nothing could be further from the truth. It is totally possible to raise a kitten that is happy, confident, sociable, affectionate, responsive to you, is good with your friends  and one who has emotional resilience.

Here are some key ways you can do that!

 

Understand the importance of the Formative Period

A cat’s critical Formative Period is between 3-9 weeks. This is a short period of rapid cognitive, social, emotional and physical development, when your cat will learn who their family is and what to expect from life.

When a kitten gets the right experiences during this time, they are set up to be happy, confident and well-adjusted into adulthood. When things go awry, it can have challenging consequences.

If you’re getting a kitten from a breeder, try to choose one that understands the critical importance of this period in your cat’s life, and is willing to put in some early work to ensure your cat grows up to be confident and affectionate – it doesn’t have to be complicated!

Early human socialisation

If you want a confident, affectionate cat it’s essential your kitten receives plenty of gentle handling and socialisation with a variety of people from age 3-9 weeks. So talk to your breeder or rescue organisation about helping to make this happen. It’s even better if you’re allowed to go and visit your kitten regularly for some cuddles before you bring them home!

Positive contact with you will help your kitten identify you as family, trust you, enjoy cuddling and contact with you, and feel more confident living in your home. But if you don’t live close by or can’t get access to the kitten this early, positive contact with a variety of other humans will do the trick!

It’s important that the kitten doesn’t only have contact with one person (such as the breeder), as this will not allow them to generalise their socialisation broadly enough to feel confident and happy in the company of a wide range of people. Extended socialisation will set your kitten up to connect with your whole family and feel happy in the company of your visitors etc in future – so aim to include a range of people, including children, women, men and people of different race.

Early life experiences

Along with socialisation (the most important!), your cat’s early life is the time to get them used to all the different experiences they may have, or you may want them to have. For example, get them used to:

  • Being handled and petted all over their bodies
  • Being in a crate
  • Car travel
  • Meeting friendly dogs and other household pets, such as rabbits, guinea pigs and chickens
  • Exposure to unfamiliar noises like traffic, music and TV
  • If you plan to use a harness for walking, introduce this nice and early too, something I strongly recommend
  • Going to the vet and being handled without painful procedures as a preparation to deal with the vets and some of the more challenging procedures they may later experience if injury or disease are experienced.

 

The early experiences your kitten has will set up their expectations for life with you. So if you want them to be relaxed when you need to take a car trip, or pop them in a crate for a vet visit, or when you’re having visitors or a friend’s dog comes to visit – make sure you introduce these experiences as early and as frequently as possible.

Whenever you’re introducing a new experience, ensure you:

  • Start slowly and gently! You do not want to give your kitten a fright, this will only have the opposite effect and make them averse to that experience. Start slow and easy and keep things positive.
  • When introducing dogs, make sure they are calm and friendly with cats.
  • Use high value treats to help make it positive e.g. small pieces of cheese, chicken or some butter on the end of your finger for your kitten to lick off!
  • Don’t push your kitten too far, you’re better off to do multiple exposures in a slow and systematic way rather than “throwing them in the deep end” so to speak.

Travel conditioning

Though I’ve touched on this above, it deserves its own section. Cats can be trained to accept (even enjoy!) car travel and moving locations. Cats are naturally territorial, so they don’t instinctively like to leave their home turf. But if you regularly take your cat out and about in the car and to new places from an early age, they can come to accept and even enjoy it.

This means you can take your cat to the family bach, on holidays, to a cattery without worrying about them being stressed, on walks and on adventure – it opens up a whole world of possibilities. It also allows them to develop much more emotional resilience and the ability to come back from fear when travel conditioned. We do this with our film cats and they are a step above the average cat in their confidence and ability to bond and learn.

Avoid big frights

Avoid giving your cat any big frights while they are young, as this can lead to fearful reactions in future. Your cat can develop a strong aversion to anything or any person they have a negative experience with in early life. Instead, gently and gradually expose your pet to all new experiences, ideally using a clicker (or “Yes” marker) and high value food rewards to help build positive associations. You need to teach them what the clicker means and start in easy situations when not stressed to make it effective and useful.

 

Learn to read cat body language

People often think cats seem temperamental – one minute they love you, the next they’re biting or stalking off. But often it’s just a case of misread signals!

I frequently see people failing to correctly interpret their cat’s body language, which means they end up inadvertently touching or interacting with their cat in a way they don’t like. This breaks down trust in the relationship.

Learn to read your cat’s body language and respond accordingly. If you act quickly when your cat shows you they do or don’t like something, you’ll build better trust and a stronger bond.

Some signs your cat ISN’T enjoying your touch include:

  • flattened ears or ears rotating backwards
  • pupils dilate or they focus or stare
  • licking their nose
  • sudden grooming for a few seconds
  • tail flicking and thumping
  • going still and they stop purring or leaning in for strokes and rubbing against you
  • moving away from you
  • the fur on their back appearing to ripple or fur goes up (piloerection)
  • turning their head sharply to face you or your hand (or bite!)

 

The signs can be quite subtle!

And here are some signals that your cat IS loving your touch:

  • your cat’s tail being vertically raised as they run toward you.
  • purring, kneading, and your cat actively pushing and rubbing their head against you.

 

Many cats find direct eye contact quite threatening (though less so if they’re very well socialised with you). Instead try half closed eyes or interrupting your gaze with some long, slow blinks.

 

Use food and play to bond with your cat

Food is an incredibly powerful natural motivator for a cat, and they will base the strength of their relationships on who delivers the goods. Filling their bowl every day is one thing, but you can further improve your bond by bringing your cat into direct and close contact with you using delicious treats.

For example, smear some butter on end of your finger and let your cat lick it off, or dish out tiny pieces of a favourite food (like cooked chicken) directly from your hands.

Having the high value foods being delivered directly from you to your cat can improve your connection and cause your cat to seek out contact with you more frequently. It helps build trust and encourages them to feel more comfortable around you, as they associate your presence with something positive. Call them to you and reward with a “yes” marker and follow with high value food (butter or cheese is normally best). Try and say “yes” the instant they do exactly what you want and reward it. Coming to you is the first best thing to reward so you get a good recall.

Playing with your cat is also a great way to improve your bond, while also providing mental stimulation, reducing your cat’s stress, and helping them learn crucial behaviours for life!

 

Enjoy that beautiful creature!

Cats are wonderfully bright, curious, amusing and affectionate companions. I adore them, and clearly if you’re reading this article, you do too! I hope this advice helps you raise your next kitten into a cat that fits effortlessly into your life.

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