Avoid big frights
Avoid giving your cat any big frights while they are young, as this can lead to fearful reactions in future. Your cat can develop a strong aversion to anything or any person they have a negative experience with in early life. Instead, gently and gradually expose your pet to all new experiences, ideally using a clicker (or “Yes” marker) and high value food rewards to help build positive associations. You need to teach them what the clicker means and start in easy situations when not stressed to make it effective and useful.
Learn to read cat body language
People often think cats seem temperamental – one minute they love you, the next they’re biting or stalking off. But often it’s just a case of misread signals!
I frequently see people failing to correctly interpret their cat’s body language, which means they end up inadvertently touching or interacting with their cat in a way they don’t like. This breaks down trust in the relationship.
Learn to read your cat’s body language and respond accordingly. If you act quickly when your cat shows you they do or don’t like something, you’ll build better trust and a stronger bond.
Some signs your cat ISN’T enjoying your touch include:
- flattened ears or ears rotating backwards
- pupils dilate or they focus or stare
- licking their nose
- sudden grooming for a few seconds
- tail flicking and thumping
- going still and they stop purring or leaning in for strokes and rubbing against you
- moving away from you
- the fur on their back appearing to ripple or fur goes up (piloerection)
- turning their head sharply to face you or your hand (or bite!)
The signs can be quite subtle!
And here are some signals that your cat IS loving your touch:
- your cat’s tail being vertically raised as they run toward you.
- purring, kneading, and your cat actively pushing and rubbing their head against you.
Many cats find direct eye contact quite threatening (though less so if they’re very well socialised with you). Instead try half closed eyes or interrupting your gaze with some long, slow blinks.
Use food and play to bond with your cat
Food is an incredibly powerful natural motivator for a cat, and they will base the strength of their relationships on who delivers the goods. Filling their bowl every day is one thing, but you can further improve your bond by bringing your cat into direct and close contact with you using delicious treats.
For example, smear some butter on end of your finger and let your cat lick it off, or dish out tiny pieces of a favourite food (like cooked chicken) directly from your hands.
Having the high value foods being delivered directly from you to your cat can improve your connection and cause your cat to seek out contact with you more frequently. It helps build trust and encourages them to feel more comfortable around you, as they associate your presence with something positive. Call them to you and reward with a “yes” marker and follow with high value food (butter or cheese is normally best). Try and say “yes” the instant they do exactly what you want and reward it. Coming to you is the first best thing to reward so you get a good recall.
Playing with your cat is also a great way to improve your bond, while also providing mental stimulation, reducing your cat’s stress, and helping them learn crucial behaviours for life!
Enjoy that beautiful creature!
Cats are wonderfully bright, curious, amusing and affectionate companions. I adore them, and clearly if you’re reading this article, you do too! I hope this advice helps you raise your next kitten into a cat that fits effortlessly into your life.
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